this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
