I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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