he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dear god my vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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