I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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