shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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