that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
