i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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