Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
