I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There's always time for handjobs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
