Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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