Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When did angry sex become our thing?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
