Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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