how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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