I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
