just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I know her cup size but not her name....
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