i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
