it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize