so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
