I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
