that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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