we have pet lesbian snakes
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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