I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
