worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
