Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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