How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
vagina is talking i cant
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
