Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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