Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
