Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
