I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
