I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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