and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize