I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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