you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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