Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
