My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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