just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
