I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
