North Korea, Best Korea!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
