You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
