i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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