Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
