none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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