obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
