She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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