I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize