ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
