my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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