Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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