He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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