Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
