420 ftw
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
