If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
