How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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