I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
