Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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