im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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