sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
