I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
