I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
