garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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