That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
