You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
