i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
