dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
