I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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