We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
