how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
