You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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