You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize