hotel room ftw
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
