I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
