you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
