if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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