No stitches, just platelets and will power
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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